How time flies….
It seems that it was just the other day that I shared my thoughts and emotions about being a mother in law for the first time, little did we know that no sooner we would be welcoming another daughter into our home.
Today marks the first wedding anniversary of my first born Hafeez Suhail, my heart is as full as it was a year ago.
Despite my experience in planning my youngest son’s wedding, it did not diminish the rush of emotions that came with the planning of Suhail’s wedding. In our attempts to organize the afternoon tea ,the wedding cake, henna and wedding favors, the shopping for a dress and the right pair of shoes, Alhamdulillah (thanks to God), it was all smooth sailing.
Bittersweet as my thoughts gravitated towards my mother and my sister, wishing that they too could share in this happy occasion, such a milestone. Mum’s unwavering love, guidance and support, the long chats, her reassuring smile, her wise words of advice to my son as she would lovingly smile at him, my sister’s unconditional love, her kind and selfless nature; They were sorely missed. Allah had intended differently. Alhamdullilah. May Allah grant them jannat-ul-firdaus and reunite us. I find comfort in remembering the beautiful dua’as she used to make for my children and that Allah will continue to illuminate their path.
It was a small and intimate affair, welcoming Nazia into our little family. Beautiful skies, the tent filled with wedding vibes, the merging of two families and two cultures.
Suffice to say that the support from my husband, my father, my brother, my children and my extended family saw me through the challenge of trying to organize things from thousands of miles away.
Indeed, there’s nothing like the relationship between a mother and her children.
With each child you develop a unique union based on their individual behavior and personality
Without a doubt, Life is full of swift transitions and time passes so fast.
It seems like it was just yesterday that you were born and I was holding you in my arms. You won’t remember the way you looked at me right after you were born, or the way I pulled you up next to my heart and marveled while whispering to you “Assalamu Aleikum” You won’t remember the way I proudly watched you everywhere we went.You won’t remember the way you made me laugh with all of the silly things you did. I saw how kind your heart was. You won’t remember the way I would brush the hair off of your forehead and the way you’d look up at me. You won’t remember all the times I went to bed at night and felt such fear being your mother: Am I doing okay? Have I messed up too many times already? Can I be the kind of mother you need? You won’t remember the way my heart broke and grew a little bigger each time you passed a milestone, watching the sand fall through the hourglass while feeling overjoyed witnessing you expand and grow. You won’t remember the way I would hold your little feet in my hands, imagining how much bigger than my own feet they will one day grow, and how I will have to let you go. You won’t remember, but I will… and I’ll hold these memories in my heart for the both of us.
As I pause and look back over your life, to this point you have ventured out to try many things, you gave and continue to give it your best and you were and continue to be a star in my eyes. My hope is that you never grow tired of hearing me say “do come and visit me”, “I miss you” or “I love you” for when I say these to you they speak volumes and I mean it…
I know that part of a mother’s heartache is founded in the fear that her son will change so much she doesn’t recognize him. That fear is unfounded—for we were all divinely designed for transformation. You have always been enough for me, just the way you are. Now that you’ve become a husband to Nazia, my expectations have to change. You must change, too, always strive to become an even better version of who you already are: kind, gentle, righteous, witty, hilarious and determined. I find comfort in knowing that Growth flourishes in marriage. Who you and Nazia were a year ago and who you right now will only become better if you each purpose to do so together. Make each other better, but never lose sight of who Allah (SWT) created each of you to be.
My advice to you:
Above all remember Allah (SWT) and always be grateful.
Don’t let anyone tell you that Marriage is 50/50. It most certainly is not! You have to give 100% to your marriage and that’s a tall order. My Sasha, rest-assured it is not a job to take lightly as it requires a lot from you, such as:
Please do join me in my prayer for the newly-weds. YA-Allah bless this marriage with love, joy, compassion, respect, understanding, trust, hope, health, wealth all wrapped in YOUR INFINITE mercy and light, always guide and protect this family.
Ya-Rabb make it easy for them to go through the trials and tribulations of married life and bless them with beautiful obedient children, full of piety and respect.
It would be remiss of me not to thank all my family members who have extended a helping hand in one way or another, towards making this joyous occasion.
Once again, Nazia, welcome to our family
May blessings upon blessings be showered on you, now and always, Your Mama
Happy Anniversary Suhail & Nazia
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